Prussia and Romano's Brotastic Trolling Adventure
by de-anon
Summary: Prussia and Romano troll the Apple store in a New York Mall. Rated T for language.


**Just a quick oneshot! (kink meme de-anon, actually). Haha, I love Romano and Prussia as trollin' buddies.**

**0~0**

"Let's troll." Prussia said as he stood by the taxi, a great, dirty yellow car that was idling in front of the hotel, revving as if impatient to join the main stream of cars clogging the New York streets. He smirked at his own pun and beckoned back to the Italian who hung back a few paces.

"Troll? The fuck is that?" Romano could only blink, shaking his head with some impossible mix between a scowl and confusion.

The Prussian merely grabbed the suddenly stammering Italian by the wrist and pushed him into the car despite screamed protests. He hopped in before Romano could lunge for the exit then slammed the door in his face, pleased to find the Italian sprawled on top of him as a result.

"To the closest mall," Prussia proclaimed to the confused cabdriver, grinning up at his reflection in the rearview mirror. The cabdriver caught a glimpse of crimson eyes and punched the gas, only to come to a crashing halt to wade through the midmorning traffic on the dense streets of New York City.

"Why the fucking mall?" Romano had since then flailed and shoved til he was in an upright position. "And I'm telling Spain that you fucking /kidnapped/ me and shoved me in a taxi. He'll kick your sorry ass."

Prussia's grin could have split his face. "But Spain told me to babysit you. This falls within that realm, kiddo. Plus, like hell am I gonna sit around that lameass hotel room any longer. There wasn't even a bar." He put a show into a long sigh then pressed his face up to the window, fascinated by the people shoving their way down sidewalks and the cacophony of shouts and carhorns. He had to strain his neck to catch the ends of buildings then promptly looked away, the sun glinting too fiercely off the reflective glass that made up the sides.

"The mall is just as lame. Bunch of fat stupid Americans walking arou—"

"You're saying you rather would have gone to that lameass art museum with our brothers and Spain than spend the day with me? Seriously, Romano, I'm hurt." Although the Prussian placed a hand over his heart, his smirk suggested otherwise.

Romano huffed and kicked at the back of the driver's seat. "Nothing is as bad as looking at a bunch of stupid hamburger bastard art."

"That's why you should hear me out, /Romachen/-"

"—don't call me that—"

"Let's troll the mall and mess with the Americans' heads!" Prussia chuckled a bit to himself as Romano worked through his proposition. He grinned when the Italian's eyes lit up. "See? Brilliant right? We might not get a chance to be this awesome any other time in America's lame ass house, especially with my bruder hanging around."

Romano nodded. "Fine, you bastard, but only because you fucking kidnapped me and I have nothing better to do."

"Hey, the alternative is having sex—"

Romano decked the Prussian in the face and spent the remainder of the ride with a fierce scowl, though his cheeks were tinged red. He muttered curses in Italian. Prussia nursed his bruised jaw.

The two spilled out of the car a considerable amount of time later and Prussia thrust a wad of cash into the driver's hand-it was West's money anyway.

The mall itself was huge, with fluorescent lights that nearly brought tears to the nations' eyes and certainly washed Prussia's skin out more than necessary. A dull roar permeated the hallway, especially around the foodcourt where the two weaved through clumps of people and sidestepped people trying to shove free samples in their faces.

"Don't trust American food." Romano grumbled.

"Yeah yeah." Lips pursed, Prussia scanned the rows of stores, most of which contained girls' clothes or designer handbags. He wrinkled his nose at the selection then vaulted over a massive potted plant toward a store, leaving Romano in the midst of the crowd.

"H-hey, b-bastard, wait the fuck /up/" Romano chased after him, only to trip over a four year old who set to bawling on the floor until his mother scooped him up and glared at the flustered Italian.

"D-dammit." He climbed to his feet, ignoring the mother as she rushed away, child in tow. "That bastard…w-where'd he fucking go?" He looked wildly back and forth, feeling much like a lone rock in a river, an obstacle to the stream of people splitting past him then swelling back around him. He took a few deep breaths and willed himself not to panic or lash out at anyone who jostled past him.

"Oi! Romano, stop standing around like a dumbass and try on this awesome present I bought for you." Prussia came bulldozing through the crowd toward him, waving a red and black checkered scarf.

The Italian almost felt a surge of relief. Almost. He allowed Prussia to yank him to a bench then fastened the scarf around his neck. Prussia tilted his head, analyzing Romano a moment, then adjusted it til it rested just right against his chest, a triangle swooping down from around his neck. The albino grinned and pointed to his own, which was purple and black checkered.

Romano lifted the edges, studying it pensively. "The hell you buy us matching scarves for?"

"Cuz I'm fucking awesome. Hey, I /could/ have bought you a pink nighty and a granny cap, but I didn't." He grinned when Romano winced, "Now come on, I spotted an Apple store. Let's go take pictures on the computers with our awesome scarves!"

The Apple store was fairly full, though there were throngs of people milling about from computer to computer. Word of mouth told Prussia that some of the department stores were having huge sales bordering liquidation, and that was what drew most of the crowds, especially as Christmas approached. This left the Apple store as a gasp of fresh air from the din outside.

"Let me show you how it's done." Prussia said as he started clicking through one of the sleek computers on the desks that lined the periphery of the room. He pulled up the webcam, captured Romano into a sudden headlock, then snapped the picture. He laughed at Romano's surly scowl in the shot then set it as the background before releasing the Italian. He stopped the inevitable onslaught of curses with his hand and dragged the Italian to the next computer, a massive 56" screen. "Okay, you're going to have to do better than a scowl, Romano, if you want this to be trolling. Do something offensive! I know you're good at that."

Romano looked thoughtful for a moment then shrugged. "Whatever, bastard." He stuck both hands out, middle fingers up, though his eyes looked unsure, almost self conscious. Prussia followed suit, tongue snaking from his mouth.

By the fourth computer, Romano was grinning just as devilishly as his albino friend, even using his pinkies to pull his lips out into a grotesque smile across his cheeks.

They reached the laptop section and Prussia paused then drew black glasses from his pocket and plopped them onto Romano's nose. The Italian blinked a few times and adjusted them on his face. "The hell…?"

"Shit's about to get serious." Prussia responded, setting a pair of yellow shutter shades on his own face. "The hipster glasses are out."

"The hell do you know about these lameass things."

"Internet. Obviously."

They shot a photo of the two of them staring sagely at each other, hands on their chins like "The Thinker" statue.

The next they had their arms linked, Romano successfully touching his tongue to his nose while Prussia put on a show of exaggerated astonishment.

They stood back to back, hands pointed like guns for one of the ipads and Romano pretended to punch Prussia in the face for the second.

By this time they'd earned quite a few stares from perplexed shoppers, though some held back giggles. The employees also seemed amused, so long as the two weren't causing real trouble.

The last computer was one of those hyper-thin laptops that were advertised as being able to fit into a manila envelope with ease.

"Okay, we have to make this last one count." Prussia said.

Romano nodded, lips twitching into a smirk that he did not know he possessed. "The fuck you want to do for this one?"

"Something ridiculous. Just follow my lead." He jutted his hip out, pursing his lips. Romano followed suit, one brow raised. Then, just as Prussia clicked capture, he grabbed the Italian's curl.

"CHI-CHIGI!" The shriek echoed through the shop followed by intense silence that was broken only by Prussia's uncontrollable laughter. He held his sides, tears budding in his eyes at the sight of Romano's red face, that uncontrollable panic and confusion and arousal sparking in the eyes of the picture at once. The Italian, less than amused, swung his fist toward the Prussian, who merely caught it and pulled Romano past him, still "keseseseing" raucously.

"D-damn, Romano, that sound you make!"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU." Romano lunged for him, but Prussia somehow managed to haul him up over his shoulder, keenly aware of the employees advancing on them now that they'd crossed the line. He took off into the hallway of the mall, Romano kicking and screaming, knocking hats off the heads of other mallgoers til they bunched around the walls to give them space.

When they reached the food court, Prussia plopped Romano down and grinned in the wake of the Italian's fierce glare.

"Y-you're fucking /dead/, dammit." His face was still impossibly red and his curl was bent out of shape if at all possible.

"Chill out and think of the awesome shot we got! Stupid Americans won't /know/ what to think about that." Prussia continued grinning then stood up. "Wait here, bro, I'll get you icecream."

Romano could only huff and slam his head down onto the table until Prussia returned with two cones of chocolate icecream. He handed one over, and this seemed to placate the Italian.

"You have to admit though, Romano, it was fucking awesome."

Romano shrugged and grinned in spite of himself. "Fucking bastard."

Prussia found himself admiring that smile and wondering why the Italian didn't do so more often, especially since it complemented his features so well. He'd have loads more friends if he wasn't scowling so much. The Prussian was wise enough not to say so, however, and instead he grinned back and cackled. "You aren't bad, Romano. We should hang out again. Yeah."

O~O

"Italy, your head is in the way." Spain craned his neck around the overexcited Italian, peering through the bushes at Prussia and Romano in the food court. The art museum had been fun, but the group had grown somewhat tired of wandering around and had wanted to catch a bite to eat. They hadn't expected to find Romano and Prussia out and about, especially not together.

Germany merely sat at a table nearby, head bowed into his hands as if that could remove any association he had with Italy and Spain.

"Vee~ I didn't know Romano could smile in public! He lied to me!" Italy giggled til Spain clamped a hand over his mouth and shushed him.

"It's weird," Spain admitted. "He's…laughing. Does that mean the world is ending?"

"I hope not! Ve!"

Spain only found himself gnawing on his lip, his ire drawn as Prussia offered Romano a napkin to help him sop up the chocolate around his mouth. "He better not be moving in on my Romano!" He clenched his teeth, eyes narrowed, looking for any signs that Romano might be flirting back with the Prussian.

"Vee, Spain…?" Italy studied the other a few minutes and put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Spain. Romano only has eyes for you…but…isn't it nice that he has a friend for once?"

Spain blinked and glanced back at the pair, whose banter seemed innocent enough, though it was at too great a distance to properly interpret. "Si, I suppose so…" The smile grew on his face and he nodded. "Si! Definitely."


End file.
